The sentemotional shroud is slowly lifting it's veil off me. Good. I've been feeling too much crap for gawd knows how long now and I ought to deserve some much better emotion, I think.I've filed my resignation letter last week and I'm looking forward to finally leaving a dumb-and-dumber call-dominated existence. Of course, as per the company's absurd protocol, kelangan kong lumage sa putahan ng isa pang buwan starting from the date of my resignation. So that means I'll stay with the company 'till September 10.
Absurd because you are not allowed to just leave the company when you really feel like going. I mean heck, what if the person is really on the verge of breaking down or really needs to get out of the toxic life fuckin' A-S-A-P lest he becomes a full-fledged psychosis patient? You can't tell a close-to-crazy agent to postpone his depression and insanity until after a month, right? Anyhow, that's a done deal. It's part of our society's conforming to fucked up protocols and irrational rules. Bottomline: magiging malaya na ko a few weeks from now.
While I Intended to go out of the call whoring system unnoticed, a lot of peeps apparently knew my intention to leave. I didn't know why and how that happened. Pati 'yung dati kong team na hindi ko naman sinabihang magreresign ako eh alam na palang aalis na ko for good. Not that I don't want them to know. Heck, sila pa ba ang pagdadamutan ko ng pamamaalam ko eh sila 'yung mga taong nagpagaang ng pukenginang trabaho ko sa higit na isang taong pagpapakaputa ko sa Makati? It's just that I've never been the person who'd like to draw much attention. If I could slip away from the crowd silently, I'd rather would than create a megalomaniac fuss. That's just not me, really.
I've decided to quit the review as well and just focus on the "second and real" CPA Board review by November. I haven't attended the gawddamn class since I had the emoish tantrum and I intend to keep it that way. As expected, pinutakte ako ng text from my fellow reviewees ba't bigla raw akong nawala. Being the SSDDish that I am, I didn't respond. Again, I don't put too much fuss on my absence. I am, after all, but a mere speck in this hollow celluloid universe.
I think I need a break and I'm putting a premium on some breather. Uuwi ako ng probinsiya and I'll live like the world and all it's fuck-me-Freddy expectations do not matter for a month or so. Yay, wala nang putanginang Maynila at ang kung anu-ano pang shit nito. I've lowered down my own outlook and accepted the possibility of me not clinching that much-coveted topnotcher spot. It was just me putting too much pressure on myself apparently. Perfectionist kasi ako. Maybe I'll just focus on the accounting handouts we've studied from June to August. Right, that could be possible. Para pagdating ng November, 'yung last quarter-review na lang ang pagtutuunan ko ng pansin.
Notice how I used the word maybe. Walang certainty kasi ayoko na namang magplano. Sa lahat ng mga planong ginawa ko sa buhay ko, halos lahat nun nadiskaril lang. Takte. You know what, these things intertwining and conniving to weave the circumstances in my life right now are all spur-of-the-moment occurrences. I didn't plan to resign but I eventually did. I didn't plan to abandon my review class but I eventually quit. Which leads me to hypothesizing Somebody Up There (if, indeed, there is one) is throwing you some pre-set stimulus for you to react with, the outcome still depending on how you react to that certain stimulus. There goes the philosophical geek in me. Haha.
Speaking of philosophical shitnitz, I'm meeting up with a very gifted blogger by the end of the month over some cold beer bottles. Nope, this one's devoid of possible emotional attraction (which, unfortunately, happened during my first formal EB with some other blogger before) as we are both of Adam's descent. Tamang basagan lang ng trip at palitan ng kung anu-anong shit tungkol sa mundong punumpuno ng kung anu-anong shit.
I have been calling him the three-year-younger version of Lio Loco primarily because his write-ups pretty much sum up and queerly mirror my clusterfuck idiosyncrasies. Plus we share a lot in common - hooked up with Conrado De Quiros' and Patricia Evangelista's columns, being one. Hindi siya sikat tulad ng ibang naglipanang bloggers diyan ngayon but at least he does not write shit. I'm sure maraming mga naligaw ng landas ang matatamaan nito but what the heck, erveryone's entitled to his own opinion so I'm boldly saying it just the same.
This young writer does not pen pathetic I-am-the-fuckin'-apple-of-the-fuckin'-universe's eye shindigs. Halos lahat naman kasi ng mga sikat na blog ngayon maski na walang kakwenta-kwentang pangyayari sa buhay nila pinopost nila may maisulat lang. What could be shittier than that? Which makes him all the more admirable to me. Tulad nga ng sabi ko sa Blogroll page ko, I'd rather read some random blog na konti lang ang nagbabasa basta may sense naman ang binabasa. Again it's the substance, not the form. At pinairal ko na naman ang accounting shit ko.
I think I made a new online comrade and I'd like to think this won't be ephemeral like in the case of the previous ones I made. We'll see that come August 28. Haha. "Ser" pa ang turing sakin ng gago sa tuwing nag-uusap kami. Ser my ass. Hindi ako diyos para sambahin. Pero kung isa siyang pans ng Lio Loco Pans Klab, malugod kong ibibigay ang autograph ko pag nagkita kami. Huhlolz! Joke lang, Father.
Gusto ko ngang bawiin 'yung sinabi kong mag-inuman kami sa katapusan. Pano ba naman, I've been too shaggy and lanky nowadays that I've been all the more allergic to people than ever before. So sobrang preoccupied ko sa lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ko, nagmistula na talaga kong lampayatot. I haven't had a proper hair trim for more than a month now. Haven't shaved my full-grown stubbles and moustache. Haven't lifted weights to at least gain some well-deserved poundage. Haven't shaved my balls for some time now as well. Haha! Yeah, serious about the last bit. Baka mapahiya ako sa gago pag nagkita kami nung sabihin ko sa kaniya noon na mas cute ako sa kaniya (totoo naman! Lol!).
Which leads me to thinking meron pa naman siguro akong natatagong kakyutan maski na buto't balat na ko if I have to base it from what happened awhile ago:
While alighting from the PVP bus earlier today and thereafter trudging the busy street towards the hellish dormitory, somebody I didn't honest-to-goodness know kept smiling at me. Hindi ako sure kung ako nga 'yung nginingitian niya at ayoko namang magpaka-feeling gwapo so I tried to look at my back just to be certain there's somebody else who could be the recipient of his creepy grin. Turned out ako lang talaga ang naglalakad that time. So I looked at that person again and gave a fucked up don't-stare-at-me-because-I-don't-fuckin-'know-you look but he continued to give me that creepy smile. Alam mo na kung ano ibig sabihin nun.
What I did, I walked much faster and pretended I didn't see him in the first place. Heck, mabuti sana kung chikas 'yun. Pero kapareho kong may adam's apol? No way, Jose! That person really killed me, if you must know. Hellishly creepy, I tell you.
Like how I'm becoming used to using both English and the Tagalog vernacular without reservations in my blog posts, this very narrative lending solid proof. Odd.
Hellishly creepy, I tell you.
