You know what really annoys me about all these much-hyped social websites (e.g. Friendster or Facebook) strewn all over the bloody Internet entrails? It's when they tell you you've got friends across all the northern and southern hemisphere numbering to more than a thousand, neatly tuck up in rows and columns on your pathetic profile. And then there you are, the happy and contented Friendster-slash-Facebook freak, smiling silly knowing that the world loves you after all what with all the cardboard faceless It's funny how some shallow bandwidth tab can tell you how close you are to coveting that Mister-slash-Miss Congeniality award judging by the number of "buddies" (emphasis on the quotes) you've made as of the last count when in truth you've never even met them in person. For chrissake, what exactly can you expect from a platonic relationship built upon mere pathetic "Hi! You look cute and hot. I'd like to add you as a friend." message templates! If this is the case, then I'd rather stick with my small clique of true pals who'd never betray me and leave me naked sprawling in the streets, puking my guts out when I'm dead drunk with ass kickin' Red Horse booze.
On second thought, I think they did that already. Fuckin' bastards. Haha!
But that's beside the point. The point is, ladies and gents, you can never maintain meaningful relationships of say 2,328 friends given the very limited concept of time. Some random FYI: There's a limit to the number of close friends you can have in a lifetime and that's between 6 and 12. Which goes to show all these freakin' social sites are selling you pure and simple A-hole gimmickry. You know what they tell you about pitiful suckers? There's always one born every minute. And the proliferation of these senseless social sites proves the point.
So yes, I am bashing Friendster and Facebook and Multiply and whatever social site you might be subscribed to at the moment and I am condemning you for allowing these megalomaniac enterprises to get filthy rich by exploiting your retarded social needs. Heck, you deserve better than that honestly. The fact that you're reading this blog is one strong proof of your
And when I say you deserve something better, that includes sparing me with all these tag hullabaloos in the not-too-distant blogging future, which all of these social sites seem to never run out of apparently(great segue, eh?) . Haha!
Kidding of course. As I am aware being tagged is some form of flattery and privilege in the entire Pinoy Bloggywood macrocosm, and since I'm running out of sensible ideas for future posts other than the resident booze drinking sprees I seem to always bore you through (I noticed just now how majority of my posts have been beer-laden so far apparently. Does that equate to how effin' drunkard drunkard I already am lately? Tsk tsk tsk!), I am compelled to finish some tags that my forgetful cranial muscle can recall and which I find quite sensible and funny, at the very least. If you don't see your tag here, just spank my ass hard within the four confines of this blog and remind me about it. I'll do it once I meet Miss Writer's Block again in my sleep-deprived nocturnal existence.
Here goes nothing...
*Six (6) Unimportant Things That Make Me Happy
1. This blog's comments. I'm pretty sure you can relate to this when some bandwidth bystander out there drops by your e-abode and writes a comment regarding your recent post, never mind if it's thickly written in an in-your-face "Nice post. Visit my site too!" template or heck, even its close crass relative of "Haha! That's funny. Ex-link?" when what you've written was how exactly you got busted by the woman you've been eyeing for awhile now. I know when people comment but haven't read the blog post and I know those who sincerely do; but don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. They're still upping my stats anyway. So yeah, my deepest sense of gratitude. Oh and yes, I won't name names. I love all the peeps who lose their way in this piece of domain. Hahaha!
2. Day off. You know what day it is today? It's
Postscript: Geez, I'm really sleepy when I wrote this. It was apparently Thursday not Wednesday as I've orginally written. My bad! Lol!
3. Wrist watch. It's odd really how I always look pretty composed when I'm wearing a watch considering that I'm almost always late for work and more often than not, I show up chrono-challenged during dates, meetings, and appointments. Honestly, I can't leave the house without wearing one on my left wrist and I don't even know why. Haha! Now, that's one queer paradox!
4. Tattered shorts. There's this one pair of jeans that I've ripped off as a pair of everyday shorts due to its wear and tear and I've always worn that piece of douchebag clothing, never mind if I look every inch a sidewalk beggar asking for alms. I like the pair of shorts very much that now it can't even be laundried in the washing machine for fear of shredding the wool strands to ripped destruction. For some reason, it reminds me that I am just a human after all, ripped with shreds of imperfectness and shortcomings, of redundancies and sentemotional ironies.
5. Rainy days. Blame it on my being an introvert or my having lived in cool Baguio for a sizeable amount of time but I've always liked somber weathers more than the perky, sunny days. Never mind the beach and the bitches, the sun and the sands; I will never trade the feeling of just staying indoors, or reading your favorite young adult novel under bed covers, or watching a rom-com (read: romantic comedy) flick with someone close to you, or sharing that sumptuous feast of hot cocoa and chocolate tarts with your significant other, or just simply sharing the cool and sober weather with the beau in cuddles over summer's flirtings. Nothing compares, indeed!
6. Booze sessions. Don't stress the obvious. That's being redundant. Need I say more? Lol!
*Six (6) Hates And Pet Peeves
1. Pseudo-bibliophiles. Oh I gawddamn hated it when all this much-ballyhooed Twilight book began to become a hype here because I've almost always come across some pseudo-literati from hell who would nonchalantly display their hardbound copies for all the whole wide world to see, never mind if they have a bag or some freakin' compartment to put the book into. Heck, they'd even go inside claustrophobic MRT shuttles risking to be tripped , holding the handle bars with just one hand because yes, they have the fuckin' Twilight copy on the other. I mean, come on book bozos, what message are you trying to convey? That you read books? That you're in? That you have a copy of that effin' Meyer book and I don't? Oh, puh-leaze! If there's anything that you've clearly illustrated, it's how you lack literary taste for reading such a one-hit-wonder novel. And don't even get me started on the books themselves.
2. Racist customers. Thank gawd I haven't had one too many calls involving these type of customers yet because I can easily pass as one genuine American-accented agent on the phone. I've never been branded an Indian as well (that's the worst berating you can get as a call center whore) and a lot of my customers are actually surprised when I tell them I'm from a Third World country and I was born and raised here but there are some times when a customer calls in asking where are you located before you can even deliver your opening spiel and, after finding out you're not American, asks for a supervisor because he thinks you're a good-for-nothing brown monkey who does not know what he's doing and who only reads from a script.
3. Wrist watch. It's odd really how I always look pretty composed when I'm wearing a watch considering that I'm almost always late for work and more often than not, I show up chrono-challenged during dates, meetings, and appointments. Honestly, I can't leave the house without wearing one on my left wrist and I don't even know why. Haha! Now, that's one queer paradox!
4. Tattered shorts. There's this one pair of jeans that I've ripped off as a pair of everyday shorts due to its wear and tear and I've always worn that piece of douchebag clothing, never mind if I look every inch a sidewalk beggar asking for alms. I like the pair of shorts very much that now it can't even be laundried in the washing machine for fear of shredding the wool strands to ripped destruction. For some reason, it reminds me that I am just a human after all, ripped with shreds of imperfectness and shortcomings, of redundancies and sentemotional ironies.
5. Rainy days. Blame it on my being an introvert or my having lived in cool Baguio for a sizeable amount of time but I've always liked somber weathers more than the perky, sunny days. Never mind the beach and the bitches, the sun and the sands; I will never trade the feeling of just staying indoors, or reading your favorite young adult novel under bed covers, or watching a rom-com (read: romantic comedy) flick with someone close to you, or sharing that sumptuous feast of hot cocoa and chocolate tarts with your significant other, or just simply sharing the cool and sober weather with the beau in cuddles over summer's flirtings. Nothing compares, indeed!
6. Booze sessions. Don't stress the obvious. That's being redundant. Need I say more? Lol!
*Six (6) Hates And Pet Peeves
1. Pseudo-bibliophiles. Oh I gawddamn hated it when all this much-ballyhooed Twilight book began to become a hype here because I've almost always come across some pseudo-literati from hell who would nonchalantly display their hardbound copies for all the whole wide world to see, never mind if they have a bag or some freakin' compartment to put the book into. Heck, they'd even go inside claustrophobic MRT shuttles risking to be tripped , holding the handle bars with just one hand because yes, they have the fuckin' Twilight copy on the other. I mean, come on book bozos, what message are you trying to convey? That you read books? That you're in? That you have a copy of that effin' Meyer book and I don't? Oh, puh-leaze! If there's anything that you've clearly illustrated, it's how you lack literary taste for reading such a one-hit-wonder novel. And don't even get me started on the books themselves.
2. Racist customers. Thank gawd I haven't had one too many calls involving these type of customers yet because I can easily pass as one genuine American-accented agent on the phone. I've never been branded an Indian as well (that's the worst berating you can get as a call center whore) and a lot of my customers are actually surprised when I tell them I'm from a Third World country and I was born and raised here but there are some times when a customer calls in asking where are you located before you can even deliver your opening spiel and, after finding out you're not American, asks for a supervisor because he thinks you're a good-for-nothing brown monkey who does not know what he's doing and who only reads from a script.
True, we are required to memorize scripts but that's only for the opening and closing spiels and that's where the parroting ends. The rest is pure technical prowess that can only be based on how good your logic and quick thinking is. You know what I do when I get to answer these kind of customers? I push the mute button and hurl out crisp R18 profanities in vernacular. It's a good thing I don't have to do that often as I am blessed to have decent and polite albeit non-techie customers most of the time.
3. Third World traffic from hell. The unfortunate circumstance should be a given as I am leaving in a city where one square meter of lot would probably stack around ten persons in density but I think I am still in a state of denial, having lived and breathed Baguio's light traffic for a considerable period of time. And yes, it would really be a different perspective if the annoyance and disgust you get from bumper-to-bumper queue isn't multiplied several times by the polluted and frizzling city heat.
4. Jeepney drivers who honk their horns like mad. Up to this day, I still cannot quite fathom what good does honking your horn in a traffic-paralyzed narrow road do aside from earning the dagger looks of your passengers and the boisterous hotheadedness of the other drivers. I mean, fuckin' grow up jeepney drivers! Honking your gawddamn horns won't clear away the road and get rid of the traffic. If anything it just makes every fucked up traffic situation worse than it already is. Also, it makes your obvious abysmal etiquette more apparent than it is already is.
5. Badass bullies. I haven't experienced being beaten to pulps by a bully when I was still in school back then as I'm someone who was respected and well-revered (out-of-the-ordinary intelligence plus being the principal's nephew does that to you...haha!) but just seeing one dumb troll beating a scrawny pup just makes my blood boil. Why do these high school caricatures hide their imbecilic tendencies with mean brawniness anyway? And how come they're always carved out in one cardboard mold: big-boned shoulders with minute cranial muscles?
6. John LloydMongoloid Cruz. I know I'll receive an enormous flak for this but whaddaheck, everyone's entitled to his or her own opinion and it just so happened this matinee idol whose getting colegiala shrieks and underwear throws wherever he goes is simply a badass fail for me. There simply is no accounting for taste, indeed! Three reasons: One, he does not look that good in TV (notice the receding hair line and the Chicago Bulls nostrils). Two, he stole Sarah Geronimo from me. Three, he's doing the "fuck you" gesture in all those Biogesic billboards and nobody even has the guts to point it out. Tsk tsk tsk! Oh and yes, I'd definitely look better than him if I get to add a few more pounds and if I get to at least have one visit in one of those Vicky Belo clinics. Harhar!
*Six (6) Things Lio Needs
How it works: Google your first name plus the word needs and put in quotes. Hence, in my case, “Lio needs." Afterwards, post the first ten results (mine's only six as I'm dead tired and I haven't had sleep yet. Zzzzz...). You'll be surprised with the engine results, I tell you. Mine's bordering from unbelievable truth to plain lunacy. Go figure! Lol!
Of course, Googling Lio would only show a few results since the name Lio is unpopular (as opposed to the more common spelling of the name, which is Leo) so for this tag, I'm using my real first name. Haha!
1. Lio needs to get in touch with me after 2 months. Okay, let me just clarify this. If you're a woman with stunning looks who closely resemble the aesthetic features of this woman or this woman or this woman, then by all means, may I get in touch with you just about now because I don't think I can wait for two months' time yet. If you're a man who seeks M2M resuscitation though, sorry, you can wait for a lifetime and a quarter.
2 Lio needs to get brownie points! As I have yet to take a sleep after nine hours of call whoring work and gawd knows how malfunctioning my synapses and neurons seem to already be, please define brownie. My mind is processing a different meaning of brownie at the moment and I don't think this is suitable for the young audiences of this blog.
3. Lio needs to puffin up his cheeks a bit more. Lol! Fine, I'll try to do the weights regimen more often than what I am currently doing. Blame it on laziness. Haha! And please don't stress how horizontally-challenged I am. I have my own subconscious to lash out that small sickening truth. I don't need your help in the whipping.
4. Lio needs to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You hit the G-spot right there, Mister Google! Lol! I'm a call center whore and coincidentally, I work at a company whose name very closely incorporates some of the words in the first sentence. Haha!
5. Lio needs a combination of good management and good governance in order to be effective. Hold on mister, are you telling me I can't be a good leader? Oh come on! I'm THE Great Procrastinator and I don't need your good management shit to be effective. I work best when I procrastinate and I orgasm with creative juices when pressured. Eat that shit!
6. Lio needs to go and. Incomplete thought I see. Pretty perfect though as I need to go and drool my way off to dreamland already. Whew! Oh and by the way, pardon the typographical errors. Have not edited this post yet. Must. hit. the. bed. and. sleep. Zzzzzz...
I noticed that this blogging activity has been taking and demanding a huge chunk of my time for the past few days now. Gawd knows how I've been missing the eight-hour doze mark that I've always been accustomed to. What do you say if I impose another indefinite hiatus, you guys?
Haha. Kidding.
No but really, I am dead-serious. Would you take it against me if I close this blog for an indefinite period of time? Lol!
Now I know you'll brand me as a selfish dick if I won't be tagging some other bloggers to do the same yadda yadda shit. But really, I'm doing you a favor by not tagging you. If you insist though, go ahead and feel free to post your own version of this 666 Tag Triple Combo.
So yeah, for whatever this is worth, you've been tagged!
*tagged by reesie, iris, and yoshke
3. Third World traffic from hell. The unfortunate circumstance should be a given as I am leaving in a city where one square meter of lot would probably stack around ten persons in density but I think I am still in a state of denial, having lived and breathed Baguio's light traffic for a considerable period of time. And yes, it would really be a different perspective if the annoyance and disgust you get from bumper-to-bumper queue isn't multiplied several times by the polluted and frizzling city heat.
4. Jeepney drivers who honk their horns like mad. Up to this day, I still cannot quite fathom what good does honking your horn in a traffic-paralyzed narrow road do aside from earning the dagger looks of your passengers and the boisterous hotheadedness of the other drivers. I mean, fuckin' grow up jeepney drivers! Honking your gawddamn horns won't clear away the road and get rid of the traffic. If anything it just makes every fucked up traffic situation worse than it already is. Also, it makes your obvious abysmal etiquette more apparent than it is already is.
5. Badass bullies. I haven't experienced being beaten to pulps by a bully when I was still in school back then as I'm someone who was respected and well-revered (out-of-the-ordinary intelligence plus being the principal's nephew does that to you...haha!) but just seeing one dumb troll beating a scrawny pup just makes my blood boil. Why do these high school caricatures hide their imbecilic tendencies with mean brawniness anyway? And how come they're always carved out in one cardboard mold: big-boned shoulders with minute cranial muscles?
6. John Lloyd
*Six (6) Things Lio Needs
How it works: Google your first name plus the word needs and put in quotes. Hence, in my case, “Lio needs." Afterwards, post the first ten results (mine's only six as I'm dead tired and I haven't had sleep yet. Zzzzz...). You'll be surprised with the engine results, I tell you. Mine's bordering from unbelievable truth to plain lunacy. Go figure! Lol!
Of course, Googling Lio would only show a few results since the name Lio is unpopular (as opposed to the more common spelling of the name, which is Leo) so for this tag, I'm using my real first name. Haha!
1. Lio needs to get in touch with me after 2 months. Okay, let me just clarify this. If you're a woman with stunning looks who closely resemble the aesthetic features of this woman or this woman or this woman, then by all means, may I get in touch with you just about now because I don't think I can wait for two months' time yet. If you're a man who seeks M2M resuscitation though, sorry, you can wait for a lifetime and a quarter.
2 Lio needs to get brownie points! As I have yet to take a sleep after nine hours of call whoring work and gawd knows how malfunctioning my synapses and neurons seem to already be, please define brownie. My mind is processing a different meaning of brownie at the moment and I don't think this is suitable for the young audiences of this blog.
3. Lio needs to puffin up his cheeks a bit more. Lol! Fine, I'll try to do the weights regimen more often than what I am currently doing. Blame it on laziness. Haha! And please don't stress how horizontally-challenged I am. I have my own subconscious to lash out that small sickening truth. I don't need your help in the whipping.
4. Lio needs to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You hit the G-spot right there, Mister Google! Lol! I'm a call center whore and coincidentally, I work at a company whose name very closely incorporates some of the words in the first sentence. Haha!
5. Lio needs a combination of good management and good governance in order to be effective. Hold on mister, are you telling me I can't be a good leader? Oh come on! I'm THE Great Procrastinator and I don't need your good management shit to be effective. I work best when I procrastinate and I orgasm with creative juices when pressured. Eat that shit!
6. Lio needs to go and. Incomplete thought I see. Pretty perfect though as I need to go and drool my way off to dreamland already. Whew! Oh and by the way, pardon the typographical errors. Have not edited this post yet. Must. hit. the. bed. and. sleep. Zzzzzz...
I noticed that this blogging activity has been taking and demanding a huge chunk of my time for the past few days now. Gawd knows how I've been missing the eight-hour doze mark that I've always been accustomed to. What do you say if I impose another indefinite hiatus, you guys?
Haha. Kidding.
No but really, I am dead-serious. Would you take it against me if I close this blog for an indefinite period of time? Lol!
Now I know you'll brand me as a selfish dick if I won't be tagging some other bloggers to do the same yadda yadda shit. But really, I'm doing you a favor by not tagging you. If you insist though, go ahead and feel free to post your own version of this 666 Tag Triple Combo.
So yeah, for whatever this is worth, you've been tagged!
*tagged by reesie, iris, and yoshke
